


Serenade

by areeskimosreal



Category: Peter Kay's Car Share (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 07:04:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15658200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areeskimosreal/pseuds/areeskimosreal
Summary: John's attempt at romance goes wrong.





	Serenade

No chance mate never in a mill…”

“Why not ? interrupted John “It would be a laugh.”

“No it wouldn't, not in the middle of a street in Bury.”

“What if I do all the singing you just play ?”

“Let me think about it ok ..mmm No .”

“Jim help me out here ,I want to be spontaneous so……”

“Your a sloppy big git really aren't you?”

“Guilty as charged, so your gonna help then ?”  
“Will you give me peace of I do ?”

“Scouts honour “said John.

“You were never a scout !!”

“Altar boy honour ?”

“Ok sloppy what's your plan ?”

“Put the speakers on the roof of the van like we did at Harrogate last year,use the extra batteries and the inverter,”

“We can't drive to Bury with speakers on the roof John “

“ No Jim you div we'll put them on a street or two away"

“Good thinking Batman”

“I'll nip out set up the keyboards you do guitar and backing ,I do two or three quick love songs she comes out and I get a snog and you get a brew"

“Oh its win win then “ laughed jim

John just smiled and sipped his brew.

“What songs you thinking of then ?”

“Hero”

“Bonnie Tyler ?”

“No Jim bloody Enrique watsit"

“Nice starter, then ?”

“ I thought, If tomorrow never comes"

“Ronan?”

“Of course

“And as a finale ?”

“All I need is the air that I breathe Hollies “

“ Nice selection John, very nice ,John ?”

“What ?”

“Will you marry me if Kayleigh dumps you ? “

“You're a nutter Jim ,a bloody nutter “

“ Is that a no then ?”

“When you planning on this then ?”

“ Well James I thought Saturday ,I told her we had a gig so I was busy ,she said Steve had his bike club thing planned, Mandy was taking the kids to the movies ,so she would be home alone,she was looking forwards to a duvet day".

“Ok my soppy big friend I'll pick you up at yours about 3 ,that ok.”

“Excellent “said John.

In a street in Bury .

“ Right “said Jim “ Thats it all set up. All we do is drive the van to her front door ,you run the cable to your keyboard ,I plug the Guitar into the amp ,and off we go “.

The van came to a halt,outside Mandys .Jim plugged his guitar in and John made ready. John looked at Jim and Jim nodded, the first few bars of Hero by Enrique Iglesias boomed out and John got ready to sing.

In a room in a house In a street In Bury.

“Is that Mr Whippy ?” a voice asked in the living room.Steve got up to look out the window.

“ No it's John ,looks like he is going to sing, what's he up to now?”

As John sang ,the group in the living room stood to get a better view,

“ Stay back from the window “Steve said “I don't think he knows were here"

“Who does he think he's singing to then,?”asked another voice.

“ Kayleigh or Mandy , hope it's Kayleigh anyway"

“,,Is she in her room then ? “

“ No said Steve, she's out with Mandy“

“Are you going to tell him that then Steve or what?”

“Not right now I'll wait “

“How long for ?”

“Well it's rude to interrupt init ?”

There was a chorus of laughter in the room.

“That first one was nice “ a voice said ,what's this second one about?”

“Dying in your sleep”

“Piss off “

“No it is,listen If tomorrow never comes, ie you die in your sleep.”

“And that's a love song ?”

“Well there's more to it than that,basically the singer is wondering that if he dies,will he have told those he loves how he fee ..”

“Colin"

“ What Steve?:

“Stop being a prick ,ok"

“Ok mate ,just saying “

They listen for a while

“Nice though ain't it “ says Steve

There is a murmur of approval.

“Oh here's a third one,I know this one “

“ Colin !”

“ Sorry Steve “

“Oh Oh “ said Steve.

“Bother mate ?”

“No Eddie, it's just Mandy and Kayleigh just pulled up outside, this should be entertaining if nowt else”

In a car in a street in Bury.

“What's Your John doing now ,looks like he's singing our Kayleigh, must think your in the house"

“ Oh hell I told him I was staying in today ,he must have arranged this with that in mind,the romantic big bugger”

“Well Kaylz, he's gonna be real embarrassed when he realises he's serenaded a group of hairy arsed bikers.”

They leave the car and walk towards the van.

 

Jim sees them and nods,then does a double take worthy of a comedy movie .

“John “ “John “ John" He whispers increasingly louder until John turns around and does the same double take. Mandy can't take it anymore and is doubled up laughing,cross legged ,holding on to the railings.  
The music stops and John open mouthed points to Kayleigh ,the house ,Kayleigh, then Kayleigh's room window ,all the time mouthing but I.. but I.... and pointing  
By this time Jim has also seen the funny side and is roaring with laughter.  
Kayleigh is looking at John with her raised eyebrow tilted head , quizzical look.

“You're not in then ?”John says stating the obvious still pointing at the house.

That did it for Kayleigh, she was trying not to laugh in case she hurt John's feelings, but she couldn't help herself, she snorted trying not to laugh but then just had to let go.  
As the laughing subdued ,Kayleigh gave John a big kiss on the lips .

“ That was a lovely thing to do John"

“Who is in there then,I saw the curtains move?” asked John.

“Steven “ Mandy roared “Get your arse out here “,

“Oh no he'll rip the piss for weeks over this" Said a deflated John.

“Not just him” said Mandy “Look “

Steve and six of his biker friends piled out the front door,still teary eyed with laughter.

“How do John mate ?“Said Steve

“ Fine buddy “ John replied.

“ John ?”

“ What Steve?”

“Can you ?”

“Can I what ?”  
.  
“Be my Hero"

Everyone including John burst out laughing.

In the kitchen in a house on a street in Bury.

“Where s Jim ?”Mandy asked.

“Had to get the van back for six,he has a pick up to do" John replied.

“So….” said John “Why the change of plan ?”

“My fault "said Steve, "my mates were going to watch some bike DVDs at Eddie's but they were American import and his machine didn't play them ,mine does so we came here to watch them “

“ Steve's mum and dad came and took the kids to the country park for the day,so I hijacked Kayleigh for a girly shopping trip “ Mandy added.

“ I really thought you had a gig on,John “ said Kayleigh. “Didn't think you'd pull a stunt like that.”  
“Fun though wasn't it ?” said Steve.  
They all nodded and sipped their brew.


End file.
